We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known. . . – Brené Brown
Last week I asked you to choose which type of Muslim Connector you were. Of those who responded, almost 70% chose “You’ve Got a Friend in Me,” the option for people who prefer to engage Muslims through building friendships. (If the options in your email were not selectable I apologize. MailChimp.com had some indigestion.)
To start developing skill and confidence in building friendships with Muslims, here are the four super basic steps we need to take and the mistake to avoid. If these feel like kindergarten to you, please pass them on to friends who might be new to all this “Muslim stuff!”
1. Go where you’re more likely to find Muslims. Not so good: Bars, church, Trump rallies or in these crazy COVID days, anywhere in public! Better odds: Pakistan, Louisville, ethnic groceries/apartment complexes/neighborhoods, and in these crazy COVID days, online.
2. Ask good questions. Cultivate curiosity. Risk bugging a few, while blessing most.
3. Share food. Whether you bake, broil or fry in oil, many Muslim cultures are deeply wired to accept, then return, food-borne hospitality.
4. Share your life. Involve Muslim friends in both normal and exceptional events. Share yourself at the level of depth you’d like the relationship to go to. I’m terrible at this. I want so much to look like I’ve got it together, but this is the path to connection. (Tweet this.)
Avoid this mistake: Don’t put off talking about God. Don’t wait to speak about, and to, Jesus with your new Muslim friend.
What basic steps would you add to this list? Please comment here.
Next week we’ll look at turning the corner to spiritual conversations.
Be available to help in times of need:
International students struggle with acclimation (where to shop, conversational English) and friendship.
International visitors needing medical help (Ronald McDonald house near our Cincinnati Children’s Hospital) also need support, although few can travel now.
Be supportive in personal and family issues, once you have a relationship.
Great thoughts, Ann. Thank you. Can you share an example of when you were “supportive in personal and family issues” with Muslim friends of yours?
I developed my friendship over walking. When the
Kids would get on the school bus, we would walk.
Walking and talking went well together.
Ah, that sounds so good, Sherry. Wonderful.
Find a resettlement agency near you & volunteer. You’ll have a chance to meet Muslim (&Christian) refugees from all over the world! https://find.usahello.org/#/resources
Thank you for weighing in Denise. find.usahello.org seems like a great resource. I appreciate you sharing it.
To you last point, Shane, I say, “Amen!” But I would clarify that by speaking about God, you don’t mean preaching at someone and (worse still) disparaging Islam or Muhammed. You know that, and most of your followers here know that, but just in case they don’t 😉 I find 1 Peter 3:15 to be a helpful guide (” always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect”). A good question to answer for yourselves daily provides great input for how to share about God with others: “How has the gospel been good news to ME today?” Having a favorite clip from the Jesus film on your phone that is meaningful to you (be ready to explain why) can also be really helpful (if you don’t yet have the Jesus Film Project app installed, get it now!). Don’t be surprised if your new friend asks to see more clips – or the whole movie.
Hey Brad,
Thank you for reading Muslim Connect and for floating out a clarification. That’s helpful. Thank you. I especially like the reference to I Pet. 3.15. Thanks.
Good idea with the Jesus film. Thank you for getting that out there.
If you are preparing food- make sure it’s halal and don’t do what I did- inviting a new Muslim refugee family that just moved into our apartment complex over at the spur of the moment when I forgot that we were making pepperoni pizza for dinner! They graciously ate a few of the potatoes we made on the side and I, the ‘experienced’ friend of Muslims, was left to laugh and feel embarrassed.