Author Archives: shanedar

My kiddos took off for their first day of school today. If yours did to, I celebrate with you! You survived the summer! You’re a rock star!

Most of our kids will encounter one of the two following scenarios when they return to school: They’ll be the new kid. (If so, the love of Jesus to them and you.) Or, they’ll discover new students have arrived in their classroom.

I haven’t heard yet what the “new kid” situation is for my guys, but since I really want them to learn to act like Jesus, here’s what I’m planning to share at dinner tonight:

S. W. I. M. with the new fishies:

Smile at the new kids. (a normal smile, not the creepy one you use for family photos!) You know how you’re wondering what the year will hold and if kids will like you? They are, too, and probably more so.

“Where are you from?” This is a good starter question and most everyone can answer it. Follow it up with, “What’s it like there?”

“I’m happy to help you if you need anything.” I’ll ask my kiddos to brainstorm what kind of help new kids might need. They probably know better than me. On the off chance it doesn’t come up, I’ll encourage sitting with them at lunch and looping them in at recess.

“Maybe you could come over some time.” (And play Minecraft, of course!) We parents need to act like Jesus too, and playdates are a good catalyst for this.

Some of the new kids will be Muslims, the children of new Americans who’ve recently arrived. By God’s grace, none of them will get through the first week of school without a new friend who has their back, and who eventually helps them know how much Jesus has their back.

Please feel free to forward this to your church, a local Facebook group, your parent list or anyone else who has kiddos heading back to school. thx. 

My dentist asked me yesterday if I was looking forward to the kids going back to school. “A little bit,” I confessed. When she said she was sad, I told her, “You’re a better mom than I am!”

While August is a “look forward” month for me, the 15% of Muslims who are Shia are “looking back.” The first month of the Islamic calendar, Muharram, roughly overlaps with August this year. While it means different things for different Muslims, for Shias it is a time of intense commemoration of Husayn, the martyred grandson of Muhammad and in many ways their spiritual leader.

Soon after the death of the prophet, conflict emerged regarding who would take over. One side argued to choose the most worthy person. The others insisted on keeping it in the family. (Presumably they believed that would cover the “most worthy” criteria as well!) As you probably know, this was the genesis of the two main camps of Muslims, Sunnis and Shias.

During Muharram in AD680 the Shia candidate for leadership, Husayn, was killed in a nasty fight in the city of Karbala which is now in Iraq. (If you’d like to get into the weeds on this, check here.)

To commemorate Husayn’s martyrdom, Shias hold services, organize formal mourning and even in some case engage in self-flagellation. My friend Rod Cardoza published a fascinating article in Natural History of his personal experience with Muharram in Ahmadabad, India.

Muharram began this year on Saturday, July 30. The culmination of the memorial, called Ashura, will be observed this coming Monday, August 8th.

Interestingly, a friend just told me that Saturday, August 6th marks Tisha B’Av when Jews fast and remember tragedies from their history.

It seems that Christians don’t go in for mourning so much. Maybe Jesus’s resurrection makes mourning less applicable. Or maybe my white, American, male perspective on life belies a skewed perspective. Either way, my prayers go out for both Jews and Muslims to find soul level nourishment and abundant life as they mourn in these days.

When’s the last time you heard a sermon on Hagar or Ishmael? True confession: I don’t think I’ve ever preached one. But my good friend Deborah is going to, should Covid let her out of the house! Her thoughts on that dynamic duo have encouraged me this morning and I’d like to share a couple of them with you. (The majority of the following thoughts are from Deborah, unless they sound goofy. In that case, they’re from me!)

Similar to the way Christians are linked to Abraham by heritage, rather than blood, Muslims feel a link to Ishmael, and by extension, his mom Hagar. If we dig into their story instead of simply viewing them as the counterpoints to the people of the line of promise, we’ll find all sorts of intrigue, bad behavior and a God who is kind, attentive and conversant with the least likely of people.

Check Genesis 16.1-16, Genesis 17.1-27 and Genesis 21.1-21 for most of the fascinating story of Hagar and Ishmael.

Hagar names God! 
In Genesis 16.13 Hagar was the first person (and a woman!) in scripture to name GOD. “You are El-roi,” for she said, “In this place, have I actually seen the one who sees me?” He allowed Himself to be named by a slave woman! How valuable is this as we consider how to “see” and “hear” Muslims and God’s heart for them?!

God engages Hagar
In Genesis 16.8 after a pregnant Hagar has scuffled with Sarah and fled, the angel of the Lord found her and asked, “Hagar, slave of Sarai, where have you come from and where are you going?” How amazing, warm and kind is this? Basically, the God of the Heavens ask the 3X outsider, “What’s your story? What have you dealt with and where is your life headed?”

To think God cares to know those things of you and me and Muslims as well. Stunning.

Do you have an opinion on Jordan Peterson? (What?!? Canadians two weeks in a row?) I’m ambivalent, having enjoyed much of the limited exposure I’ve had to him, but (to his great consternation, I’m sure) disagreed with some of his thoughts.

However, when the guy who’s been labeled “the most influential public intellectual in the Western world” releases a video called “Message to Muslims,” my head cocks to the side like a curious German Shephard puppy.

You can watch the video here. It’s six minutes long, but for people like us, probably worth the watch.

I find a couple of things worth noting:

1. Gutsy move on Peterson’s part to produce this video. When a celebrity says something to 1.8 billion people, some will certainly love you, but with equal certainty others will call for you to be flayed.
2. The tone of paternalism is breath-taking! Peterson offers simplistic solutions and calls Muslims to get along the same way I challenge my daughters to not fight with each other as they unload the dishwasher!

I wonder how I (and other Christians) would feel about a Muslim speaking to all of us this way? Imagining some of my response, I’m afraid it indicates I have a heart-level sense of superiority to Muslims. Dang it.

A guy I follow on Instagram, khaledbeydoun says, “This video. . . has to be one of the most condescending, tone deaf, inherently Islamophobic rants I’ve seen in some time. While sitting from his perch, it sounds as if Peterson is a parent scolding his children.”

Even the Muslims fans of Peterson seem to be distressed by this video. “Dr Peterson, I’ve been following your work for years now, and your lessons helped me process and go through a lot of challenges I had in life. However, I’m disappointed by how shallow and presumptuous this video was.”

I’m no Jordan Peterson, but I’m reminded to consider afresh the ways I think about Muslims and the language I use to both talk about and to them.

Got big plans for the weekend? I’m taking our middle school youth group boys on a hike. This is my personal parallel to what’s going down for a million Muslims who are Haj-ing to Mecca this weekend.

•  We’ll both deal with hot and sweaty people.
•  There will be rock throwing in both places.
Us: Skipping stones in the river.
Muslims: Throwing rocks at Satan.
•  We’ll both fear (Hope?!) it’s a once in a lifetime experience!

As you may know, the Hajj is one of the five pillars of Islam; a religious pilgrimage that really has no parallel in Christianity. All Muslims, if physical and financial health allows, are required to make the trip at least once in their lives.

Muslims want to go to honor the requirement, of course, but also because forgiveness is on offer: Muhammad reportedly said, “Whoever performs Hajj for the sake of Allah and does not utter any obscene speech or do any evil deed, will go back (free of sin) as his mother bore him.”

Who doesn’t want forgiveness? I need it, and without pointing fingers or anything, I’m guessing you do too. Will you join me in praying that Muslims, those in Mecca this weekend and those who aren’t, will find the forgiveness they seek? The death and resurrection of Jesus, if sufficient for us, is also sufficient for them.

Grab this brief and well done prayer guide for Muslims on the Hajj. If you’re feeling really scrappy, share it: Forward it with this email to believers who might be interested, get the link into your church’s bulletin, or go old school and print out a few copies. Your dad and mine delights to answer our prayers.

I was a little munchkin (Well, young. Never really was little!) when I first found out grownups could be mean to each other. My grandparents were taking me with them on vacation to Canada. At a stop somewhere along the way, Grandpa was frustrated with Grandma for a reason unknown to me. To demonstrate his frustration he began to drive away just after she opened the door to hop in the cab of the truck.

It wasn’t the funny tease of pulling forward two feet when your passenger reaches for the handle, but something much more sinister. I can still feel the echo of the panic I felt watching my Grandma trot along, eyes wide as she tried to get up in the truck.

She made it, and while I don’t remember, I suspect I was the only one who talked for the next few hundred miles.

We do mean stuff sometimes, don’t we? And say things designed to cut, shame and diminish others. My “everyone is stupid but me” attitude occasionally emerges in the most regrettable ways.

I don’t know what was behind my Grandpa’s uncool move. We don’t know the pain people are feeling, do we? Heck, we can’t even figure our own a lot of the time.

While I want us to passionately advocate for Muslims, and do so with the shrewdness of snakes, Jesus also says be innocent as doves. Grace to you and me both as we walk that razor edge!

My pastor recently recommended a John Stossel video about refugees and immigration. It’s smart, sharp, but not mean. I encourage you to watch it and pass it along as you see fit. I think it strikes a note near where we want to be as we invite others to love Muslims the way Jesus does.

I have a love/hate relationship with fireworks. If you’ve ever been in an Indian city for Diwali you might relate. Mind numbing cacophony with ‘round the clock explosions. If I lived in India, I’d definitely visit Pakistan during Diwali!

Later though, while staying in England, an amazingly kind Afghan family invited us to shoot off fireworks with them to celebrate Guy Fawkes Day. Two immigrant families commemorating a guy who failed to blow up Parliament: A tad surreal, but the relationship begun that night lasted the entirety of our stay.

July 4th is just around the corner and provides a plum opportunity for us to connect with Muslims.

Is there a family in, or just outside, your sphere of relationship you might reach out to with one of these invitations:

• Hey, we’re having some friends over for food and games for the Fourth. We’d like you to join us.
• We’re planning to attend the fireworks show down on the Riverwalk (or where ever!). Can you come with us? I’ll bring some snacks. 
• We’re going for a short hike on Monday. If you have the day off, we’d love for you to do that with us. Will you?

Here’s what I’m considering: There are two boys in my son’s karate class named Yusef and Islam. Going out on a limb and guessing their parents are Muslim, I’m going to try to initiate a conversation with them that will lead to a July 4th visit of some sort.

Does anyone come to mind for you? If yes, let’s do it. If no, please say a prayer for the rest of us.

If you think yes, but hurdles immediately pop into your mind, please take 30 seconds and jot them down here. Maybe together we can find ways to tap the power of God so we can be the people of Jesus.

PS: Let’s continue to pray for Afghans as they wrestle with yet another tragedy. May God have mercy. 

I so want to think I approach life based on what the Bible says and not Facebook, but I’m not sure the data supports that conviction. The Zuckerberg siren woos me in and pretty soon I’m all feisty about memes, ideas and ridiculousness that neither help me nor help me help others.

If you take a minute to consider what shapes your general thinking, as well as specifically regarding Muslims, what do you come up with?

Here’s an incomplete list of possibilities. I’m wondering for each if I should aim for an increase or decrease.

1. Personal experience: You may have Muslim friends who are warm, funny and caring. Alternatively, you may have been shot at by a Muslim. Both leave a mark, if not physically, certainly psychologically.
2. News: Watched, listened to, and read. Revenue driven, largely fear-based. Decreased consumption would probably benefit my relationships with Muslims.
3. Media: Facebook, podcasts, Twitter. For me: Less Facebook, better podcasts and don’t start trolling Twitter!
4. Books: Yes, books are media, but I want to make special note of them. I’m trying to read more and better. Some of you are amazing readers. If you’d be willing to share a book you’ve read about Muslims or connecting with them, I’d be so grateful. Let me know the title, who you think it’s for and share one great thing about it.

Writing today’s Muslim Connect has helped me decide to quit Facebook for a season. I may float out a question or idea from time to time, but I’m killing the “spurious scroll!” During a short break this morning I read a couple pages of a Bob Goff book instead of cruising Facebook. It felt like real nourishment, solid goodness, rather than another handful of digital potato chips. So I’m done, and telling you to help seal the deal! Let me know if you’d like to join me in this. If you’ve already kicked Facebook to the curb, just smile smugly and wonder what took me so long!

If you’ve found value in Muslim Connect, please take advantage of the soon ending Spring funding drive to help it go and grow. Donate here, choosing “Bennett Vision Trip.” More details here. Thank you for considering this.